Todays Spritual Routine Progress:
- Listen to a Podcast from Laudate. ✔
- Pray ✔
- Send thoughts of loving kindness and pray a blessing for 3 people. ✔
- Read 2 chapters from the Holy Bible. ✔ 1 Peter chapter 5 & 2 Peter chapter 1
- Meditate (currently 10 min.) ✔
During today’s meditation I was aware of muscle stiffness in my neck and moving up into the beginnings of a headache. I was able to stretch and by the end of the meditation time, all headache feelings had dissipated. My focus on my breath and the colours was maintained fairly well, part way through I was startled by a sudden downpour, where after the steady rhythm of the rain became my focus. It was quite pleasant, until I suddenly remembered the cat was outside. At which time I broke off and ran to rescue him, which cut a minute off of the end of my meditation time.
Josh sent me this wonderful link today. And I felt like something just clicked, like I finally ‘got’ it. I’ve been living SO much inside my mind and I get stuck in there and feel like I’m floating away. It can be quite unsettling and cause me to become depressed or frantic as I struggle to regain perspective and prevent myself from becoming carried away by my thoughts. To realize that I can exercise control over this, that I can choose to remain present by focusing on what is real and isolating and dismissing what is only thought, is liberating. Suddenly the Edward Abbey quote I posted a few days ago holds so much more meaning. These realizations are incredibly exciting for me, and the world around me feels so much more real now. The hard cool ceramic mug in my hand, the steam rising off an omlette, the floor beneath my feet. Everything. It really is like waking up from a dream.
Yesterday I made my first paper crane, and I’ve been continuing to make them at various moments since then. I now have made 7 lovely paper cranes. I find the time spent making them relaxing and when sad memories enter my mind I remind myself that they are only memories and I can choose to cease thinking about them at any moment and they can’t hurt me. I find that my control over my mind has strengthened since beginning to learn to meditate, and for this I am very grateful. I wondered a bit at my sudden drive to continue to make the paper cranes. Though it is relaxing, there is much to do and it may not be the most valuable use of my time. However, as I completed the seventh Crane, a gold one, the words of a poem that my father had transcribed into a book for me came to mind…
How Do We Know
‘As Cranes wing south in autumn
To rest beside the sea,
My heart soars ever Godward,
And I know His love for me.
How can I tell
God keeps me in His care?
How do birds know
Warm shores await them there?’
Tomorrow is the anniversary of my fathers birthday. He would have been 62 this year, but he passed away a little over 5 years ago now. It is my intention to hike a mountain alone tomorrow to visit the site where his ashes are buried. It will be the first time I’ve visited the site in over a year, and the first time I’ll visit the site alone. I think, perhaps I will bring along one of these paper cranes to leave there in remembrance of him.
If truth be told, I am afraid to do this hike. I know it will be physically challenging for me, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to do it. Afraid that emotionally and mentally and physically I just don’t have what it takes. And maybe just a little, I’m afraid of doing this alone. I find myself thinking of excuses not to do it. I see them for what they are. Excuses to remain stuck. Excuses to not live.
How much life have I missed already?
It’s time to spread my wings.
It’s time to live.
Today’s Mood out of 10 with 1 being low: 5
Today’s Something New: Coming soon
Today’s Social Connection:
- brief Msgs with JF
Today’s Lessons to Remember:
1. Any moment you experience can be broken down into three simple qualities:
i.) Your immediate physical surroundings right now
ii.) The physical feelings in your body right now
iii.) What you’re thinking about right now
2. When I get lost in rumination I can choose to stop at any time and break down what is actually present in my moment and what is being caused by thought and turn my attention back into some physical part of the moment, and the thoughts and memories can’t hurt me anymore.
Today’s Joy Notes: Coming soon